In Between

i can't publish this post in the appropriate time for 2 reasons: 1. there are visitors from New York who would be "observing" our operations for the whole day. 2. some guy from the IT department or whatever will connect to my laptop remotely so they can install VISIO. ugh. i know. tell me about it. right now, i'm not in the mood to do anything but look at the clock and wait for 530. i made it a point to work my ass off on Monday (author's note: this did NOT happen) because it just won't do today. i'm never really good at this. i am seriously baffled at how people here can work all day without rest. they're like machines and i don't want to be like that. at least, not anymore. i've experienced that sort of hell before. it wasn't fun. tsk. is there a way to prevent history from repeating itself?

sometimes i wonder what would've happened if i chose to do something else with my life. if i pursued writing or acting or hosting. i dont have the required face value to be an actress or a host, but such jobs are not limited to TV. i could try to be a radio host or a radio actress. i'm not certain if radio has the big bucks but does it matter? i want to be able to enjoy what i'm doing and not care about the time or the work or the pain. i want to drink coffee every morning because i WANT to drink coffee and not because i NEED it to help me wake up. i want to turn on my computer because i WANT to use it and not because i NEED it to finish a deadline. i want to take the bus to makati because i WANT to go to makati not because i NEED to be there from 8:30-5:30. wants vs needs. when i was young, wants and needs were limited to material things. nobody told me about this complication. then again, nobody tells me anything. when you're an adult, you are forced to learn

I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy hahaha!

8:17 AM just my luck. my LAN cable isn't working. not sure if it's the LAN cable or the port or whatever. but it's not working...no net connection...again. fuck. 10:03 AM heavy breakfast with rambutan. not bad. got an email from my senior analyst, she said i did a great job with the document. but there are some revisions. hmmm...hopefully minor ones. 10:20 AM ok now the internet is working. yey. but i cant blog anymore or browse since everybody is here already. it's too damn obvious. 11:05 AM wow time moves soooo slow............ 11:30 AM somehow, as of this moment, i fully appreciated the purpose of a conference room. a few steps from my cube, there are about 5 guys arguing their ass off over who forgot what or who did what wrong. it was awkward since the entire right wing of the floor can fucking hear them blame each other. it was also a bit scary because they have serious teamwork issues and if that's how it works here, then i'll be in big troub

this is a pretty late post but it's sooo damn hard to write when you have no internet connection any-fucking-where (well we do have an internet connection but i'm not allowed to abuse it...yet). anyway, i'm on my 11th day at my new job and it's been...really hard. although, i did expect to have a lot of adjustments prior to my first day, but man oh man! the PAIN. first, there was an issue with space. they put me in a cube thats fit for only 2 people. so they had to make adjustments for me which is a little embarrassing. i don't want to cause any trouble since i'm new and everything but i did nonetheless and i had no control over it which left me a bit frustrated. then there was the learning curve. fuck. i'm familiar with life insurance which i think is an advantage of sorts but all their products are NON-LIFE. eep. i thought i was gonna have a heart attack with all the terms and shit. how will i document if i dont know the business? aaaarrrghhh e

for a good number of days, Douglas bugged me about seeing this film. though, i am not so much of a fan of the 19th century as he is but i did enjoy some of the movies depicting this era so i thought of including Bright Star as part of my holy week roster. the movie, which was written and directed by jane campion, tells the story of the love affair between fanny brawne and romanticist john keats. it was set in 1818 in Hampstead, London. to be honest, my feelings for the film would have to be 50/50. overall, it wasn't so bad. the story was good and you really feel the character's love for each other grow each scene. and i liked the fact that it wasn't amplified or pinilit. there were also some subtle moments like the occasional banter between fanny and mr. brown which i thought was rather cute. but some of the other parts can be pretty draaagging. there were times that i'd get bored, waiting for something to happen. then, it would get even duller. it was fru