In Between

i was supposed to blog every week, right?  whatever happened to that?  haha! well, long story short...august was a bad month and i'd rather not talk about it. moving on....september, not that glamorous either. although i do have some great pictures...which i will not be sharing.  i dunno.  maybe some other time.  or some other post. i am thinking of creating a new blog soon.  something that's more...profound?  hahaha!  not really.  i just want to reach out to a specific market.  but all that is still cooking up in my head and i don't have a lot of time lately to organize my thoughts. umm, updates!  i now have more work than i can handle.  but that's not new.  i've added a lot of items in my list of "awkward moments".  that's not new either. i am getting fat.  which is good.  but mostly because i am stress eating.  which is bad. overall, i don't feel healthy. overall, i am not exa...

i am actually contemplating on moving some old blog posts from a different blogger account to this new one.  i just read some of them and it was craaaaaazy.  i never really truly realized how fucked up i was(slash am) until today.   one of my favorite things was to quote movies.  i am sharing one from a ben affleck film titled "chasing amy".  one of my favorite movies ever.  i remember saying, "i wish i couldv'e written that one" enjoy! I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't ...

week 30 was full of surprises.  work was starting to pick up and i found myself rendering a few extra hours just to finish tasks.  it was alright.  i'm kind of used to that anyway.  plus, i like the feeling of being a bit busy.  not too busy, though.  just enough to keep me feeling productive and less incompetent. i participated in our latest "olympic" event at the office last tuesday.  it was super crazy and fun and my team won!  wooohoo!  i never win anything so this is just amazing  for me.  happiness. much later that night. i saw the most anticipated blockbuster of the year...the last installment of the Harry Potter franchise.  i was able to watch it in imax.  i loved it.  though there were some weird moments that were not part of the book.  but it was alright.  it was the perfect ending to a beloved series.  they did an amazing job and i am a proud fan.   it's the end of an era! ...

i will not try to make an excuse on why my writing has suddenly stopped. nothing seems to come out of my system.  to be honest, i have not woken up fully from my dream state and moving along life as a zombie pretending to act normal is very exhausting.  it never occurred to me how tired i was until i noticed that on rare occasions that my day is free, i always end up just sleeping through it.  if i am not sleepy, i'll just lay in my bed and let my imagination consume my entire consciousness.  it was a little disturbing, even for me. i keep telling my friends that i am simply not in the mood.  my interest in life just went pfffffft.  the enthusiasm is long gone.  and i don't have the faintest idea how to resurrect it. i may be coming off as emo, but that is the truth.  i just don't want to lie and say that i am having the grandest time these days.  i am not angry or anything.  i am not happy nor sad.  i am simply...not in the moo...

the last few weeks, i have made 4 life-altering decisions: quit my job consider a potential opportunity that would probably change me forever (i know this is vague but i can't talk about it just yet) decline a very enticing job offer accept a different job offer to say that my life would have taken another course if i hadn't chosen to do these would be an understatement.  whats even scarier is that i am beginning to doubt whether these decisions were made with my sanity intact. but its too late to change all that right now. i started with my new job this week.  it was very interesting.  everyone was really really nice, something i didnt expect.  i guess i am no longer used to that sort of environment.  but it was great.  everybody seems to get along well with everybody. i'm more quiet than usual.  mainly because i'm sleep deprived and it would take longer for me to wake up from my dream state.  i'm mostly sleepwalking these days....

my first task for my " fuckation ":  submit my stool sample.  hahahahahahaha! i did this monday morning. then malling lang ng kaunti. relax relax lang. the entire week i was basically preparing my pre-employment requirements. nagpunta ako ng munisipyo tska nagpa-renew ng nbi clearance. i was mildy amused by this sign inside a jeepney.  kakaloka. feelingera raw ang uupo sa side na ito kaya dito ako umupo!  haha! i also visited sss to check on my loan remittances. ang galing, di nagre-remit yung dati kong kompanya! so may penalty na ako. tangina nilang lahat. pero ang sabi saken nung HR, ang di raw nag-remit eh yung third party payroll provider so...tangina mo 3rd party provider! but anyway, yun lang naman ung nakakainis ata na nangyari. super relax mode talaga the entire week. weekend, kumain lang sa gumbo kasi gusto lang i-try haha. nalanding baby back ribs somehow, i dont really remember much about this week. basta alam ko lang na super relaxx...

you have no idea how much it pains me that i haven't been writing.  actually, i have a long blog post about this but can't publish just yet.  soon hopefully.  but for the time being, i would like to share this essay thing that i found in my inbox while i was searching for work-related files.  talk about serendipity.  anyway, it made me smile today. DATE A GIRL WHO READS - Rosemary Urquico. (via kblitz) Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve. Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second h...

after 1 year and 1 month, i bid my company goodbye.  it was an interesting experience and honestly, i totally appreciated the opportunity they've given me.  there were some real good times.  i just felt so out of place in that environment and i wanted something less rigid and more open to change.  but i will truly  miss the friends i've made and the life we built in our own little world. my last day was actually on a tuesday.  my project manager (great boss, seriously.  although feeling ko he hates me now kasi marami akong naiwan na palpak na trabaho) treated us to a nice lunch at momo cafe. ayala triangle branch sir gali and my mentor, jasper rona, one of the team leads being knee-deep in credit card debt, hindi ko malibre mga friends ko ng goodbye merienda.  hahaha!  pobre!  but they surprised me actually and bought food and drinks that afternoon.  they are suuuuper nice!  they wished me luck on my future endea...