In Between

Ok, THIS is the most depressing week in NZ.  but i will not provide any details.  i just want to put it behind me and move on.  i can't afford to lose my focus.   so sorry guys, but no specific updates this week.  hopefully it will get better.  prayers are most welcome.  thanks to my best friends who have kept me sane all this time.  mga bayani kayo, promise. right now i am drowning myself in 90s to early 2000s music.  i missed this.   i don't mean to be so cryptic.  hahaha.  but things are looking up.  sana magtuloy-tuloy na.  

yes my dear readers, i know that i am overdue.  but that is life and sadly there were some hiccups lately and i needed a mental health break.  but here i am now ready to provide a blow by blow account of what has been happening in the city of sails (yeah that's what they call Auckland). i have debated with myself whether i should combine weeks 2 and 3 in one entry.  unfortunately, i don't think it will fit.  there's just too much to talk about and i don't want to cramp all that information in one long post. so here goes....enjoy! comments!

this is by far the most interesting week, though in a way, the most depressing one as well.  but where to start?  hmm.  well, i finally found the courage to actually walk-in and ask for a part-time job.  and knowing what a geek i am, where do i do that exactly?  at the city library of course.  haha.  how fucking crazy is that?  anyway, i wanted to go to that art film thing and since it's just next to the library, it was a 2 birds and 1 stone scenario. the library people just basically told me to fuck off which wasn't cool haha.  so i went to the cinema hoping it gets better.  when i got there, there was no one around.  i walked around a bit.  went back and the place was still deserted.  then i saw a doorbell thing and it says "academy cinema" or something to that effect.  so i rang it.  some rude guy picked up and basically told me to wait until 6pm and to fuck off.  what the hell is up with the univer...

Professional Skills Development started this week.  i really do not have the energy to explain what this is but its a program that is compulsory but not graded.  go figure. most of my classmates are from india.  there are some "smellies" but i can't seem to point out exactly who.  ugh.  it's very frustrating.   school is a complete waste of time.  during one of the sessions, the professor or whatever spent about 30minutes explaining the importance of remembering names.  paulit ulit paulit ulit paulit ulit.  its crazy. though, i must admit, i really don't mind the whole lecture thing as long as i get to sit in my chair and space out.  so you can just imagine my frustration every time i hear the teacher say,  "let's count off by 5" "let's group ourselves into 6" pootangina lang talaga, and one time, may nagpapaimportante sa class.  inaantok raw sya.  pwde raw ba mag group work na lang.  yung...

disclaimer:  i cannot seem to get myself together.  i've been away from home for almost a week and my head is still in safe mode or something.  my thoughts are just completely out of whack and it may take a while before i reboot.  so please bear with all the unnecessary bullshit, grammatical errors and insane language. a lot of friends have been asking me how things are over here.  well...contrary to what people say (and by 'people', i meant my agency), its not as easy as they make it out to be. but i am getting ahead of myself. first things first. before i arrived in auckland, i had to endure a long and bitter flight from manila.  since there is no such thing as a direct flight, my itinerary said that i have a 4-hour layover in Singapore.  this is fine.  my ticket also included meals and 40kg worth of check-in luggage.  i carried a backpack and a sling bag for my carry-on with the latter starting to (horribly) disintegrate a...

and so it begins... this will be a very short post.  i am quite busy unpacking and figuring out what else i need to do. my thoughts are still blurry.  i think i need time to calm down.  everything is happening so fast.

i have very mixed emotions about my june travel plans.  don't get me wrong, it's awesome.  i'm just a bit worried about the funding.  ugh.  i hate it when money never overflows.  at least, not in this side of the world. ok, let's try to be more grateful. i had a great weekend.  it was simple, very relaxing.  i spent time with a friend, saw a really kickass movie called 'The Cabin in the Woods' (which was butchered by MTRCB, but still worth watching).  upon checking my email, my boss said some really nice things about my work which is just awesome.  i love how they appreciate the work we do here.  i feel very very lucky.  so there.  i will NOT complain about anything tonight.  because right now, at this very moment...life is goooooood.

  gusto ko na tuloy matuto mag gitara.  at kumanta.  at maging artista.  hahahahahahahahaha!!!! 

i am beginning to wake up from a very deep slumber.  will have a longer post soon.  but for now, i will leave you with a quote from Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami which sort of summarizes the reason why i stopped writing for a while: "Nothing born of nothing.  I'd loved and been loved, but I have nothing to show.  It was a singularly plain, featureless landscape."

sadly, i must admit defeat. i will have to postpone the weekly blogs...indefinitely.   my enthusiasm for this effort has died.  a part of me wants to move forward, i dont want to give up.  but it's not enough to keep me focused on this project. i have no idea whats wrong.  ok...that was a lie.  i do know whats wrong.  i am simply not in the mood to disclose it.  so, for now, i will have to resort to adhoc blogging.  if i do end up reviving this routine, then awesome.  i will applaud myself.  but for now, i don't want to force it.  i could, but i cannot keep up with the stress.  maybe after march, it will get easier.

how can one really function when at the start of the year you already feel the blues?  i will not pretend that i am feeling oh so great.  but i will not be a bitch about it either... so here i am. first official work day was spent at home.  it was great, just chilling with my computer on my lap , trying to create mockups.  it was one hell of a task as i am still on holiday mode.  but i was able to manage.  other than a day when i just couldn't get out of bed, work week was pretty normal. so weekend finally came.  saturday, i attended an interment out of town.  it was an interesting commute.  after that, we decided to go to tagaytay.  this proved to be an even more interesting commute since it involved a long jeepney ride (alikabok sa fez galore) and the most uncomfortable van ever.  bongga sa experience.  pagdating namin dun, pumunta kami sa....STARBUCKS!  hahahaha!  i know it was ridiculous. ...

chos! syempre kailangan ma-drama ang title. to say that 2011 was eventful would be an understatement.  if you are an avid(?) reader of this blog, you are aware that i made a point to blog weekly.  having reread some of my former entries made me feel a little warm inside as it highlighted every mundane thing i did.  i had a pretty good run, even if i only reached week 30.  i still like to believe that it served its purpose.  made me feel that each moment of my life is precious and that i should be grateful for it. i can proudly say that i started 2011 right.  i did a bit of goal setting.  i listed restaurants i wanted to try.  habits i wanted to quit/start.  it was awesome.  i was feelin the good vibes.  but the awesomeness had an expiration date.  my writing started to wane around week 22 and eventually ceased by August.   i tried to revive it but it was no use.  as mentioned, i cannot fully elaborate on the reas...

i was supposed to blog every week, right?  whatever happened to that?  haha! well, long story short...august was a bad month and i'd rather not talk about it. moving on....september, not that glamorous either. although i do have some great pictures...which i will not be sharing.  i dunno.  maybe some other time.  or some other post. i am thinking of creating a new blog soon.  something that's more...profound?  hahaha!  not really.  i just want to reach out to a specific market.  but all that is still cooking up in my head and i don't have a lot of time lately to organize my thoughts. umm, updates!  i now have more work than i can handle.  but that's not new.  i've added a lot of items in my list of "awkward moments".  that's not new either. i am getting fat.  which is good.  but mostly because i am stress eating.  which is bad. overall, i don't feel healthy. overall, i am not exa...

i am actually contemplating on moving some old blog posts from a different blogger account to this new one.  i just read some of them and it was craaaaaazy.  i never really truly realized how fucked up i was(slash am) until today.   one of my favorite things was to quote movies.  i am sharing one from a ben affleck film titled "chasing amy".  one of my favorite movies ever.  i remember saying, "i wish i couldv'e written that one" enjoy! I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't ...

week 30 was full of surprises.  work was starting to pick up and i found myself rendering a few extra hours just to finish tasks.  it was alright.  i'm kind of used to that anyway.  plus, i like the feeling of being a bit busy.  not too busy, though.  just enough to keep me feeling productive and less incompetent. i participated in our latest "olympic" event at the office last tuesday.  it was super crazy and fun and my team won!  wooohoo!  i never win anything so this is just amazing  for me.  happiness. much later that night. i saw the most anticipated blockbuster of the year...the last installment of the Harry Potter franchise.  i was able to watch it in imax.  i loved it.  though there were some weird moments that were not part of the book.  but it was alright.  it was the perfect ending to a beloved series.  they did an amazing job and i am a proud fan.   it's the end of an era! ...